The Last Word

By Jack Ussher | Posted: Wednesday October 22, 2025

What are we defined by?

Is it our successes, our mistakes, our reputation, or something deeper? We are all defined by something, whether we realise it or not. We spend our years chasing results, recognition, and respect, hoping they’ll define us. But if those things can change in a moment—one bad mark, one dropped catch, or one poor game—changing the way we view ourselves, maybe they shouldn’t define us in the first place.

We are often told that our actions define us: our school, sporting, and cultural achievements; our good deeds; our big moments. And sure, these things matter. They are the fruits of our effort, discipline, and drive. But actions alone don’t define us. No one gets everything right. We fail all the time—that’s part of life. We are defined more by how we come back from failure than by the result failure brings.

An example of this from my life is when we lost to Wakatipu at the start of the year and did not qualify for Nationals. Even though this was my worst result during my time at Otago Boys’, I’ve used it to motivate myself to become a better cricketer.

Some people think we’re defined by others—by their opinions, or by the impact we leave on them. And this is true to some extent. The way we treat people matters. But opinions are ever-changing. One week people love you; the next, they don’t. If you live for approval, you’ll always be chasing it. Instead, live with integrity, not caring what others think about you. Those who act true to themselves gain the respect of others.

Then there’s purpose—the reason we do what we do. I believe we are defined by our purpose, as it is deeper than actions or reputation. It lasts when results do not, and when someone’s opinion is against you. When something is bigger than yourself and what you can do, it creates meaning, even in the hard times. For me, my faith plays a big part in that. I believe we are created with purpose, loved, and made to keep moving forward no matter what happens. That kind of definition stays constant.

So what are we really defined by? Not just by our wins or our mistakes, but by our character. By the choices we make when no one’s watching. By the way we treat people who can’t give us anything back. By the way we keep going when life gets tough.

As we finish school and move into the rest of our lives, remember this: your worth isn’t up for debate, and your definition isn’t written by anyone else. Achievements, grades, and trophies will fade away, but character lasts. So decide today what will define you—not the opinions of others, not your results, but the kind of man you choose to be. That’s what will truly define you.

In true OB’s fashion, I’ll end with a quote:
“Be more concerned with your character than your reputation, because your character is what you really are, while your reputation is merely what others think you are.” — John Wooden