The Last Word
By Lachie Hall | Posted: Monday March 25, 2024
Four years ago, I arrived at this school like everyone else, nervous and overwhelmed.
Leaving the majority of my friends behind, I was thrust into the deep end. This didn’t mix well with my introverted personality and closed mindset, self doubt and the label placed on me instantly of ‘rector's son’; while harmless, it brought me into a shell that was seemingly unbreakable. If you had told me four years ago what I am today, I would have stared at you unconvinced and said “Not me".
Until Year 12, I was having fun, and making new friends. Yet, I never really formed my own identity. I never went out of my way to take any opportunities, keeping to myself, playing video games, listening to Olivia Rodrigo and doing internals. It wasn’t until I was done with the year that I realised I was unsatisfied with what I was doing; I was unsatisfied with myself.
Earlier this same year, Dad decided to hand me a book. Normally when this happens, he gives me the dullest looking book of all time, and this wasn’t much different. Mindset: The New Psychology of Success. At the time, I couldn’t care less. It was just another time Dad brought up something I needed to work on.
The irony of course is that my mindset was holding me back from reading a book about how to improve your mindset. And, realising I had to make a change, this book was the first thing I thought to do, and reading it made a lot of sense. And yes, a good mindset is extremely important. However, I believe the more important step glossed over is how you start.
Because the real challenge of a good mindset and taking opportunities is having the confidence to start in the first place. Having the maturity and confidence to understand that it’s all in your head, and to take action to improve yourself. And when you are finally able to break out of your mindset; your shell, suddenly things become a whole lot easier and fun.
My starting point was extreme, as a lead in production. After months of hyping myself up, I decided to audition, picking random roles that sounded ok thinking I was going to be in the background. It wasn’t until the roles were announced that I really started freaking out; was I good enough for that? I took a deep breath, and while shaking at the first production rehearsal, tried to talk to some of the other leads. These people now are some of my best friends ever, people who changed my life and gave me amazing experiences. I’m not saying you have to do something big and flashy, rather taking risks, and having confidence allows you to experience and do things you never thought possible, which compared to being lonely at home is worlds better.
Confidence also snowballs. Trying one new thing, taking a small risk, pushing yourself out of your comfort zone, will make the following steps that bit easier until it's a second habit.
Even so, you can find yourself doubting your confidence. You will be tested at times, I can guarantee. It’s these moments that are the challenge. This could be a failure, a setback, a daunting new environment, placing you back right where you started. I’m tested every day; even after small moments, I find myself constantly overthinking things and going back to my shell, fading away. But, pulling yourself out and regaining your confidence is just as important as finding it in the first place.
Lastly and most importantly, confidence is all in your head. Those people asking me if I was the rector's son just wanted to start a conversation to get to know me. It looks intimidating, feels suffocating, but in reality it's nowhere near as bad as you think. Our minds aren’t actually reliable; we overestimate intensity of emotions, and are terrible at predicting how we might feel after an event. We also think more people care more than they actually do, and can become trapped in our own minds of self-doubt. What will people think of me? What if I embarrass myself? The fear of the worst-case scenario is often what we focus on, rather than the likely one. It’s recognising that these fears are superficial, that is the crucial step towards confidence.
However, it’s easy for me to say it to you. It's your job to find your confidence in yourself. Organise a fun activity with friends, say hello to someone you wouldn’t normally, smile a little more each day, put a little more effort into that internal. Because, how can you really find satisfaction and your potential in a shell?
In true OBHS tradition, I’d like to end with a quote that I’ve heard countless times; “Get off your device. You’ve been on it way too long. Go do something meaningful.” Richard Hall.
