A Message From The Rector

By Richard Hall | Posted: Friday September 8, 2017

Yes, he is a master of the vague.

Or so I wrote last week and I stand by it.

But I want to be clear, I am not saying he is thick, or worse deceitful. Instead what I mean is that it is not that there is nothing going on between his ears, in fact it is the opposite.

When you ask him; "How was your day?" or "What are you thinking?", his brain is actually going ten to the dozen; and a teenage boys brain is VERY fast. What he is thinking is "What does she mean - What have I done wrong?" or the classic male response (yes, all men), what is the CORRECT answer? Another classic is what can I say to get out of this?

Trust me.

So while you are asking an innocent question, to start an innocent conversation, he is thinking what is the quickest way out of this. Again, not because he is deceitful, instead he is thinking about some comment someone has made to him today, why a girl has not replied to his very witty snapchat or how can he get the car off you with the least hassle. All the while stuffing food into his mouth, showering and demanding his favourite hoodie that you should automatically have ready for him when he wants.

My advice; say to him - "I know you tried your best"....(pause for a response, parents undervalue pausation, it's torture and boys hate it). Wait for a response, if there is none, act with, "I mean what else could you do?"

By now he is sweating - they KNOW! (Again, it may not be anything bad, it is just he is defaulting to what could have gone better today, and what parent does not want to know what is bothering their son). Pause, hold.

"Can I offer any advice" or "Yeah, well I know you will have learned from this".

If anything you will have got him thinking, and his attention - and you deserve his attention.

I'm off to try it on my son, he hates being the son of two teachers! 

Enjoy your weekend.