Staff v Prefects football

By Matthew Dadley | Posted: Thursday November 10, 2022

The Staff View - Spectacle before Sport.

The fans didn’t line up for football and they certainly weren’t looking for some vanilla result where ‘sport was the winner’ on the day. No, staff and students filled the sidelines for spectacle, for drama - for a little taste of WWE Raw at lunchtime.

From the opening bell this was a clash of wrestling royalty. Randy Savage (Mr Scott) up against The Rock (Eric Peita); Stone Cold Steve Austin (Mr King) and Chris Jericho (Mr Sharp) tag-teaming to deal to the likes of Raven (Max Cunninghame) and John Cena (Ben Tucker); and The Undertaker (Sam Gavin) prowling the field, but ultimately falling to the moves and superior strength of The Fabulous Moolah (Ms Moore).

A brief cameo from Sting (Thomas O’Connor) was a piece of scripting that foreshadowed the very best of comebacks. And before the show’s ultimate climax, there was ample time for The ‘Man’ Becky Lynch (Ms Garforth) to twist a clueless Randy Orton (Isaac Ottery) up in knots and assert her dominance in battle.

Finally it fell to referee, Earl Hebner (the inimitable Mr Kay), consistently at the centre of some of the sport’s most memorable moments, to make the big call and award the fight to the rightful winner. On the spot when it mattered, the hand he raised was none other than Hulk McGarry Hogan, as the young upstart Brock Lesnar (Vinnie Gable) lay sprawling on the ground beaten and broken.

Final score: 2 - 1 to the staff.