The Last Word

By Teddy Finney-Waters | Posted: Tuesday March 7, 2023

If I was to think about an aspect of my schooling career that is particularly poignant to me, one question comes to mind.

“Teddy, are you gay?”

Between the interrogative questions I receive regarding my sexuality, and the fact that I get cat-called while I’m walking to my car, it’s fair to say that this question has overshadowed many of my interactions at OBHS. Although I attempt to laugh these moments off, the effect of this perception is as follows: no matter who I’m talking to, no matter how many sports I play, no matter how much I lower my voice, grow my facial hair, or act “manly”, I feel that I am never able to escape the cliché that has been placed on me. When people see me, they don’t see Teddy, they see a “gay guy”.

This is because I fit the stereotype.

A stereotype is an assumption that you make about an individual based on specific attributes of their appearance, religion, interests, culture, and so on. To put it simply, you think you know something about someone because of these characteristics, when you don’t know them at all. In my case, the enjoyment I take in beautifully singing and dancing around a stage apparently aligns me with the social image of a homosexual.

This is not just an issue that I have faced, but one I have also participated in. When I look back at my early years at OBHS, I realise that some of my current closest friends are people who I had initially stereotyped, thinking they were too “weird” to be my friends. It’s actually a very natural thing to do, boys. The human brain is hardwired to make a snapshot of others, in order to distinguish between “my tribe” and “your tribe”. Back in the old days, having the ability to quickly differentiate your beloved relatives from those guys who live over the hill and want to kill you was an excellent survival technique.

So you might be wondering, if stereotyping is a natural part of being a human, why am I on stage giving you a lecture about it? It’s because it interferes with our idea of brotherhood within the school. We no longer need the survival instincts that we once did, and today, the stereotypes we place on our own are hurtful, rather than helpful.

I’m confident that there is not a single boy in this room that doesn’t like the idea of being part of a brotherhood bigger than themselves that has shaped the history and culture of our school, but when we play on our instincts, and reduce people to nothing more than a confining label, we are then isolating individuals into boxes, instead of bringing them into what should be an embracing community. The most successful sport teams are the ones which harness each individuals strengths, and put it towards a common goal - winning the match. As a school, we must acknowledge each other's successes, and put it towards a unanimous pride for something we all have in common - OBHS.

When we insist that the boys who read in the library are geeks, the boys who play rugby are bogans, and the boys who take drama classes are gay, we are not by any means a brotherhood, but an exclusive club of so-called “normal people”. It may be nice to fit in with the crowd, but we should not aim for a school of clones, in the same way that no one wants a 1st XV full of just forwards. What makes Otago Boys’ High School so special is how well rounded we are, and the strength of the school is rooted in our differences. Nobody is a label, and everyone is an individual with qualities and abilities we may never discover unless we look past the minimising view of stereotypes. Once we realise this, I’m hopeful that the brotherhood can be stronger than ever before.

To finish, I will quote the Level 2 biology Scipad: “A population with a higher amount of variation is more able to adapt and survive when change is encountered.”