The Last Word

By Bodhi Keiller | Posted: Monday April 3, 2023

To undergo transformation, transition, or substitution.

Change. If there's one thing you can be sure of in life, it’s change. Boys, whether we like it or not, good and bad, our lives are going to be full of change. I know for a fact that many of you are currently - or have already - faced some major negative changes in your life. For those of you who haven’t had the displeasure, I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but at some point, life’s gonna suck.

Resilience is how well you adapt and cope with negative change. Now, I say negative change, because we’re pretty good at dealing with positive change right; “Oh yo, miss just gave the class a week’s extension on that internal I was about to spend all night on.” (None of us organised OB’s boys leave it that late though aye.) So, we don’t need any strategies for dealing with positive changes. It’s the negative changes that give us a bit of trouble.

Of course, as a 17 year old, I definitely don’t have many answers, and I know that sat listening to me now, there are people who’ve had it a whole lot worse than myself. But for the past two years I’ve spent a lot of time thinking about change, and more recently, resilience. I hope that by sharing what I’ve learned about resilience, something might just stick with you and help you out.

Over these two past years I’ve had a recurring stress fracture in the bottom of my spine. This tiny little hairline fracture, having the amount of change on my life that it has had is honestly ridiculous. Sport went from the centre of my life to just a memory, a fantasy, and a goal I’m still yet to achieve. School lost its charm, and weekends became empty.

At the end of last year, it took a couple more blows for me to realise that I needed to become accountable for how I let change affect my life. See, up until that point, I was stuck. I’d set my heart on plan A without real consideration of plan B. When I was forced into that plan B, maybe more of a plan X, Y or Z, all I could think about was: Why did it happen to me? And how life would be if it hadn’t. Did I have a bad day? My back made it worse. Did I have a great day? “Yeah but it could’ve been better.” I let my bad back govern my life. It took me getting to a real low place and having a tough chat to change my mindset.

This brings me to my first point. Talk about it. If you had said that to me last year I would’ve tuned out. “Yeah I know… talk it out - talk it out - talk it out” that’s what we’re told all the time. I’m not depressed, I’m not suicidal, save me the lecture. Man, I was sick of talking about it. “Who blew your back out Bodhi?” “Why do you never play?” Yep if that’s what “talking about it” meant you could count me out.

It took a conversation I didn’t intend on having, where I was gritting my teeth, I had that pain in my throat trying to hold back tears, where I was asked the questions I didn’t want to think about, and I finally let go of that plan A for my first real step towards some resilience.

Resilience doesn’t have to be just toughing it out lads, and I hate to say it but all the experts agree. Take some time to be upset, talk, let someone know how you feel. If those tears come, you’re gonna be better off letting them out. Have your time to be angry at life. But know that life isn’t going to accommodate you. It doesn’t owe you anything. It's not going to stop throwing challenges. It won’t suddenly become fair, and it will never go backwards.

With that knowledge and the acceptance that plan A is gone, things are different now, how do you make the best of your new situation? Reflect, take learnings, find aspects of that change you’re grateful for, and move forward.

Am I grateful for being injured so long? Absolutely not. I wish I could’ve been playing, improving, and achieving my goals. But I can’t change the fact that it happened.

I’m grateful that it wasn’t worse. I’m grateful for the time I gained for study. I’m grateful for what I’ve learned about how to better take care of my body. I’m grateful for the step back I had to take; what do I really enjoy outside of sport?

Find the positives in your situation. Remind yourself of these positives; they’ll keep you afloat when all those negative thoughts inevitably come flooding in. Let them support you while you overcome your challenges. Let them drive the changes which you make for your plan B to be successful.

I know your life will have changes for the worse, I know my life will have changes for the worse. Accept them. Learn from them. Use them. And overcome them.

Dieter F. Uchtdorf once said:

“It’s your reaction to adversity, not adversity itself that determines how your life’s story will develop.”

Thank you.