The Last Word

By Ted McFadgen | Posted: Monday August 14, 2023

Regret.

Regret is the emotion of wishing one had made a different decision in the past, usually from something someone has done, or failed to do. Everyone, including myself have their own fears, but the fear of regret is one that haunts me.

Lads, I want to start by asking you - are you living your life by what truly makes you happy? Doing what you really want to do? Or are you doing it to make others happy, living by their to-do list?

You know, a lot of the time we feel the need to do what our peers, teachers, and parents want us to do, usually taking the safe road, fitting in, not trying anything too extreme, and especially never finding out our true potential.

Yes, you should listen to those close to you and the advice they give you. But overall, do what you want to do. Don't live with the regret of doing what others wanted before yourself.

Back in Year 9 and 10 especially, I was a bit lost. I think we all go through that phase now and then. But I definitely had no goals or ambitions because I wasn't trying anything new, and definitely didn't think about future regret . I remember once in my Year 9 PE class, we all sat in a circle and Mr Scott went around the class asking us:

“So what do you do Bodhi?”

“And what do you do Lewis?” 

Everyone had something interesting to say, but when it got around to me I kind of awkwardly froze and couldn't think of anything. Little did I know that sitting on my ps4, and watching Netflix all day didn't count as a hobby or passion. At that very moment I had nothing about me I was proud to talk about. Don't get me wrong, gaming with the boys is great fun, but doing that stuff all the time held me back. When I think about those years, I have few memories, but a lot of regret for wasted time.

In Year 12 I joined the gym and a glider club. Learning how to fly planes and weight training finally gave me some purpose. I could now get up in the morning excited about the day ahead, never disappointed with how I spent it. Seeing my mates join in on things like the gym made it even better. There's something about seeing them learn and grow with you that's super motivating. If they didn’t join, I would have quit, I would've given up on the gym, that's why it's so important to surround yourself with like minded people. I think finding these types of hobbies really makes us appreciate the little time we have left before we all go our separate ways, so I'm grateful they want to make the most of it like I do. 

Be it kayaking out to the middle of a lake and camping on an island where we built a hut and sat around the fire, or all the days spent mucking around at the beach, or even doing something weird and funny like a bodybuilding show in front of hundreds of people. We’ve learnt to do what we truly enjoy.

Either way boys, it's stuff like this we remember for a lifetime. Not that one stupid test you did badly on, or that one person who put you down. Don’t waste energy regretting this stuff, it's the big things in life you don't want to regret. For me this year, it was saying “stuff it” and signing up to be an Air Force pilot. Only about 10 out of the 3000 or so that sign up get picked. But I’d rather give it my best shot, than to not try at all.

Because just imagine your future self looking back, you're old, and aren't able to change the past now. Imagine having the regret of not doing something, whatever it was, your window is gone.

Overall boys, I hope this encourages you to do what you truly enjoy and to live with no regret. The people close to us, like our friends and family won't always be around. So, give your parents a hug, ask them how their day was, think big for your future careers, and maybe sort out a boy's trip away somewhere, it might be your last one together. If you're feeling lost like I was with how to spend your time, go out of your way to give new things a try. At least that way, you can't have any regrets.

In OBHS fashion I'd like to end with a quote. From the Big Lez show: "Aren't we all chasing the light mate, looking everywhere to find it, everywhere but within".