By Richard Hall | Posted: Monday February 25, 2019
Last night I attended a screening of the documentary Celia. This film is an interview, filmed over the last three days of Celia Lashlie's life in 2015.
I was lucky enough to work with her for a brief time in the mid 2000's as part of the Good Man Project and I certainly enjoyed seeing her again.
The clips of her in full flight in a school auditorium, brought back powerful memories. Her common sense, mixed with a keen intellect and a sharper tongue (watch the TV debate scene), are sorely missed now. How much better off would families be if she were still here to prod us. She 'got' boys, not because she had been the first woman prison officer in a men's prison, but because she had the sense of humour, the ability to spot BS a mile away and the good sense to listen to them.
Her message to Mums was important, that you have a major role in the life of your boys, be present. Her words to Dads to step up were just as powerful. To step up, often Dads need time and space, we process differently, often more slowly that our betters would like, but we get there eventually. The bit that Mums did not like was true then as now, get off the bridge and stop solving all of his problems. For as Celia said, "wouldn't it be better that the first time he makes an independent decision, and gets it wrong, is not when he first puts his foot down on the accelerator."
So Mum, if you wish he would take out the rubbish, leave it for him to take out the rubbish and accept it might take longer. If he forgets, then he is the one who will have to sort it. You might not even have to tell him he might just get it.
If you haven't already, I do recommend her book, 'He'll Be Ok: Growing Gorgeous Boys Into Good Men.' It has the wisdom and insight from one of the best minds on young men I have ever had the pleasure of learning from.
I recommend you catch it.