A Message From The Rector

By Richard Hall | Posted: Thursday May 24, 2018

I saw a case this week where an American judge ruled that a 30 year old had to leave his parents home.

It got me thinking about when do we parents cut some of the strings. When do we make them pick up their own rubbish? 

Call us tiger or helicopter parents, we as parents all feel the need to be fully involved in our children. But are we helping them?

How often do we let them fall, step back and watch them get up? And how can we do this in the knowledge that they will not seriously hurt themselves?

For me the younger the better. Certainly if they have not built up a resilient mindset by senior school they will fall harder. If we always cover for them, in my experience as a teacher, they do not get better, they stay in the sandpit.

Do you remember those chicken pox parties where some parents got together to share the virus to build a resilience to it for later life?

Do we need an adolescent version?

If we do everything for them, give them no opportunity to fail, and then put them behind the wheel of a car, is it too late?

I know something that you could do is to listen to their response/ anger etc when something goes wrong. Listen not as a fixer, not as a lawyer, not as an executioner, but as a resource. Discuss the options, remind them this is a bad moment or a bad day, that the sun will come up tomorrow.

And sometimes the option is to suck it up, get on with the consequences, and finally, pick up your own rubbish.

Have a good weekend and remember that the school is closed next Friday, 1 June.