A Message From The Rector

By Richard Hall | Posted: Monday February 20, 2017

Ok here I go.

I have lost track of the conversations with boys this week that have started with; "My Mum is going to... (find my lost shoe/jersey/homework, ring the office to explain why I was late, etc) you name it, Mum is going to fix it.  

Can I politely ask that you don't.

Why not, because you are not helping him you are hurting him. Yes he is your son and yes as a competent caring parent you want to be involved, but for these little things all you are doing is reinforcing the idea that actually looking after his shoe, jersey, homework is Mum's job. I don't think it is.

In her chapter Stop Making his Lunch: What Mothers Should Do, author and good man leader Celia Lashlie gave some good advice for Mother's. That a boy needs to learn the connection between actions and conseqence. While losing his shoe or jersey is a pain, make him ring up the last place he can remember leaving it to see if it is there. Or tell him to go to the lost property at school and have a look. It is an easier lesson if it is a shoe, than if he finally learns the link between actions and consequences when he gets behind the wheel of a car.

Last week my own son left his brand new sweat shirt outside the cricket net for 3 days before he noticed it was missing. His Mum (my wife) sorted it. She went and found it.

So yes this is a case of do what I say and not what I do!

Have a great weekend, he can make his own lunch.

Happy 74th birthday Mum.